What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
