We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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