Girls should come with a carfax report
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
