Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
