Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
