I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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