I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I need to align my fucking chakras
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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