The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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