At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
