I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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