i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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