I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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