honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
