Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
