just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
