I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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