I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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