just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
