he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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