the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
