boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
