? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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