Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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