You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
