Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
