...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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