I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
