Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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