Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
