if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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