It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
