Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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