ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
