I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
All the doctor said was why
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
