dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
