I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
