shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
