come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
