So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
