There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Be still, my beating vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
