We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
