last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sext me about skeletons
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