Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
