she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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