Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
