Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
