Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Your penis caused this!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
