so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
