She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Still dying that you shit outside
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
