Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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