If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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