I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
