Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
