I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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